The Terrible Telegraph
Our great-grands would understand,
The terrible technology of today,
It’s just a terrible telegraph,
That’s all Twitter has to say.

Just open the bloody telegraph,
Out pours a litany of shit.
Now put it in your pocket.
You can’t get rid of it.

This mendicant, terrible telegraph,
Following you around all day.
If you ever want some terrible news,
It’s just a pocket watch away.

There’s nothing new for centuries now,
Just faster in the same place,
We are the kings of convenience,
And paupers of time and space.

There’s nothing new beneath the sun,
Or hid in fiber-optic streams.
It’s just a terrible telegraph.
We are where we have been.